This is not rude or too invasive or anything!!!
As much as I can’t identify with Hazel as a character, in many ways I can identify with a lot of her situations. She has a very intense cancer, and she needs help with a lot of things. Because of that she sees her family and the people around her help her 10x more than they have to for anyone else. And she’s aware of the fact that this sort of thing isn’t really in the job description when you become a parent or a friend or a girlfriend or WHATEVER, and she not only feels a little bit like a burden because of it, but she doesn’t feel like she deserves it.
In the story, she tries to push Gus away because she’s conscious of the fact that literally any day at any time she could “explode” like a grenade, and she doesn’t want to hurt anyone in the process.
I identify with all of this. As someone with a physical disability that renders me nearly immobile when not in my chair, everyone around me is always having to do everything for me. I have to be physically put into the shower, onto the toilet, into my bed, etc. And these are all things that no one has to do for any other sister or daughter or w/e, but they have to for me and for their sake and their sake alone, I wish they didn’t have to.
With Hazel, it’s worse with Gus bc she WANTS to get close to him, but she won’t let herself for his sake. I identify with that SO HARD TOO bc becoming my friend means a million times more work than for any “able-bodied” friend. And I never feel like I deserve the awesome friends I have. Why is someone, who has literally no obligation to do so, WILLING to pick me up and carry me around their house? To help me onto the toilet when I stay over at their house? To install WHEELCHAIR ramps into THEIR truck?
Why is Gus so willing to be around Hazel when he knows she could die anytime?
And as for the whole “grenade” thing. It’s just really ironic wording, because my mom always says whenever I leave the house that I’m like a “timebomb”; at any moment she could get a call saying that I had broken a bone and our lives would all be ruined for the next 6 months to a year because of it.
Obviously, Hazel’s situation is more intense than mine by faaaarrrr. But it’s a similar outlook.